Gary L. Simmons  rev 07/22/03

The Battle Cat's Litterbox

D-Day V1.1

By: Gary L. Simmons
the Battle Cat

Prepare to jump!
Fighting men who jump and die... they oughta wear chutes... before they fly!

Good morning, Marine!

The year is 1944. The day is June 6TH, D-Day. The world has been torn apart for a decade in a terrible struggle of good against evil. After many years of desperate bloodshed there now appears to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Allied forces have grouped together as the Allied Expeditionary Force under General Dwight D. Eisenhower for a major push into the Axis held French lands of Normandy. The race to beat the Nazi scientists to the atomic bomb is almost at hand. However there is another threat against humanity.   It has been learned that a new and terrible weapon was recently developed. A weapon that, if left in enemy hands, will turn the tide of the war in favor of the German war machine. Atomic fusion has been developed by the Nazis in the form of a plasma pistol in a small laboratory in Cherbourg, Normandy. The secrets of this device must be stolen by you and utilized by the Allied nations before the Axis powers can develop a fusion style "hydrogen bomb" based on the scientific principles behind this new and awesome weapon.

Great! Gimmie the map!

Just when you thought it was safe to stroll the beaches of Normandy with your rocket launcher, assault rifle and 500 pounds of ammo... D-Day has begun. Better make sure your pack has a parachute in it and not your camping gear in it because after you jump from the plane and pull the rip cord you want to hear the "sushhhh fla-thoomp" of your chute opening and not the clatter of pots and pans. The Nazi war machine has developed fusion power and you have just volunteered to parachute into Cherbourg to steal the technology for the Allied powers.

Yes, parachute from airplanes (or wing walk you dare devils), watch textures start moving with a flip of a switch, ride the water elevators, take a much needed break in the Holodeck, operate the side-sliding doors but stay out of the docking bays if you don't know anything about airlock controls! Oh, and prepare to meet your maker.

No physics models are used to pump up aliens to undefeatable strength, or make flying Hunters shoot flaming, screaming BOBs that stick like napalm to babies. Just straight-from-the-can classic Marathon fun. All difficult puzzles are "on the side," so you do not need to solve them to proceed (automap and terms give lots of clues), one puzzle even hurries you on your way. All rooms can be entered (except the airplane levels), all ammo stashes and power-ups can be had. Can you reach the secret terminal?


Be the first on your block to finish this scenario then run outside to jabber excitedly to your friends about how _you_ saved the galaxy from the evil horrors of the Pfhor hordes, how _you_ kicked major booty on aliens that utilize a dynamic sensing artificial intelligence that makes them fiendishly clever adversaries, how _you_ slipped on F'lickta poop in a sewage level and hit your head and cried and lost your pistol. Well... OK, don't tell them about that last part.

What have your friends done lately to save the galaxy? Nothing I bet. Why do you hang with those losers anyway?

You can download this updated scenario from the spidery, twisted mind of the Battle Cat HERE! Pig pile on the server! The first 200 people to download the map are eligible to win valuable prizes such as a newly rebuilt 58 Ford T-Bird with custom paint, twin cams, 4 on the floor and 320 cubic inches of raw screaming horsepower, an all expense paid trip for 2 to Hawaii where you will spend 3 days and 4 nights at the fabulous Honolulu Hilton or $50,000 cash. Wait wait, the results are just in... I WON!! Oh well, download the map and save the damn galaxy anyway.

Give me the map please

The rave reviews are in! Just listen to these quotes:

  • Bill Clinton - "I categorically deny having had sex with that mangy ol' cat!"
  • Mr. Horse - "No sir, I don't like it."
  • General Sherman - "Hey leave me alone, I'm dead. Go ask Patton."
  • General Patton - "Sorry, same here... try Schwarzkopf."
  • General Schwarzkopf - "Huh?"
  • Steve Jobs - I don't have to boot into OS9 to play do I? DO I??
  • Bill Gates - Wait... A1 SDL won't install... wait... Windows crashed... OMG! FIRE!!
  • Mr. Rogers - "This isn't a very nice game is it?"

Just give me the damn map

Join the ranks of these swell people and download "D-Day V1.1"

Yes, D-Day V1.1. Join the fun! Participate in strange, alien rituals of manhood while lashed to a post. Run naked through a Pfhor infested space ship shrieking with laughter while it spirals into an insatiable, galaxy-eating blackhole. Have uninhibited, mind boggling, unprotected, virtual sex with the Green Animal Women on the Holodeck. Ride inside a Juggernaut YOU control while raining terrible fusion death down upon a woe begotten enemy!  

Gag at the sight of new and horrible death sequences. Retch when you slip in the filthy putrid gore. Vomit bile and gym socks when you see the ALL NEW slimy monsters found only in D-Day V1.1!! All this and MORE MORE MORE!!!!

Well... OK so I exaggerated a little. All right, a lot. But you have to download it and play it to see where I lied my behinny off.

Enough you idiot, the map!

Hey look! An interview!!

We are here today to interview little Johnny Jones who just finished playing the spectacular new Marathon Infinity solo scenario, D-Day V1.1 by the Battle Cat.

the Battle Cat: So tell me Johnny, did you have trouble down loading D-Day V1.1?

Johnny: Nope, it was fun AND easy, plus I won 5 bucks just for mailing in one of dad's signed blank checks.

the Battle Cat: Heh heh, you didn't really fall for that old gag did you?

Johnny: No. actually the 5 bucks was for a pair of my little sisters underpants.

the Battle Cat: Ummmm... er, uh... so, did you enjoy D-Day V1.1?

Johnny: It's the bomb! I really hated those Nazi pigs and when what's his face died, I cried out loud. Boo hooed right into my Cheerios.

the Battle Cat: You found D-Day emotionally satisfying then?

Johnny: Oh yes. I laughed, I cried, and at times my head whirled with new mixtures of hatred, grief, longing, joy, camaraderie and that feeling you get when you bite tin foil.

the Battle Cat: Do you think your family would benefit from this excellent scenario?

Johnny: Most definitely. Mom would appreciate the intricate relationships that developed in it. Dad would just love the hard science that is discussed. I live for the brutal carnage and cool graphics and sis got 2 and a half bucks.

the Battle Cat: IxNay on the isterSay dorkwad. Then I take it you would recommend D-Day V1.1 to the folks here?
the Battle Cat: Here's 5 bucks.

Johnny: Yes, absolutely. D-Day V1.1 rocks! The best scenario of all time!

Gimmie the @#$%&*! map or I'll twist your little pin head off!

D-Day V1.1 FAQs

Q: In the level "Mars Needs Fat Chicks" I am stuck in the Dunkin Donuts shop behind the deep fryers. How do I get out?

A: You can either get an education or you can "quantum leap" using the 3RD trigger of the new Wave Motion Cannon. Press the option key while pressing your second trigger key. Look out for the Berthas that will waddle over from the Dairy Queen!!

Q: I love the Porsche 911 with the fine Corinthian leather seats. What an incredible enhancement to the Marathon engine! I can steer the car just fine and accelerate like a dream but where are the brakes?

A: Brakes?

Q: I keep looping between the two levels "Push the Big Red Button" and "You Didn't Push the Big Red Button". What is wrong?

A: You are stupid.

Q: I am on the level "Thing What Kicks My Candy Ass". There is a terminal that tells me to smash some circuits but for the life of me I cannot find those circuits!

A: Unplug all electrical connections to your computer. Remove the monitor from atop the CPU box and set it to the side. Disconnect all I/O wires from the CPU. Using a standard screw driver, open the CPU box and slide the metal cover from it. THOSE circuits.

Q: I cannot find the secret level with the naked lady.

A: Just as well, I don't think seeing your mom naked would be good for you. As for the rest of you, seeing his mom naked is not that great. Besides, it's a secret.

Q: I am unclear on the time line in D-Day. Did the antediluvian clone riots on the 8TH dimensional plane of the rogue AI Bruce's home realm of dream existence happen before or after the religious revolt of the subjugated Antarian Pig Peoples militant interstellar March To Destruction cut off the vital supply line of forbidden illusory Venus drug to the wenches of the dilithium mining colony on Rigel 4?

A: Get a life.

 Primo download!

via http: 
Download D-Day V1.1

via ftp:
Download D-Day V1.1

Download size is 4136K. This is a Marathon Infinity solo scenario consisting of 12 levels and a net level. Although the net level is textured for the standard Infinity shapes, please use the "D-Day" Shapes included in the download for the best results during solo play. In fact, the "D-Day" map will not make much sense unless you use the shapes patch. Launch the patch program and select a fresh copy of the shapes file. Move the patched shapes file and the "D-Day" map into your Marathon Infinity folder. Launch Marathon Infinity, open preferences, and from your environment menu select the patched shapes file and the "D-Day" map. Be sure to look for the nostalgic original Marathon textures on board the Star Cruiser Sheppard. Enjoy!!
 CHEATER!! Download first level spoiler/tutorial film The first fighting level "Pink Fuzzy Bunnies" is a tutorial on monster weaknesses. This film will show you the various tricks that you can use to take advantage of those weaknesses. Kill five Troopers with a single pistol shot, kill 20 Troopers and Hunters with your shoes. Be forewarned, this film is a spoiler, so do not view this film unless you are ready to see all the level's secrets reveled.
 All hail the vidmaster o doom Download the vidmaster films See the Battle Cat 'masturvid' his own swollen, throbbing level! "The Holodeck" is the toughest level in D-Day, watch the Battle Cat show you how to do it. This film pack has four vids, two 'cheats' vids and one text cheat plus an extra spectacular vid film, "Professional Soldier," that will knock all you so-called VidMasters right on yer asses! Must be seen to be believed!
Ride Johnny ride  John Sumner Vids John Sumner sent in a series of vid films (192K) for D-Day. John and I seem to have the same hobby, making the monsters kill each other. Ever since the days of my ancient ancestor, Angus McCat, (who dug the musket balls out of his slain enemies with a hand ax so he could reload them) this is how my family conserves ammo when they play.
Johnny rides again!
Sumner Rides Again
Just when you thought it was safe to conquor a planet and enslave the occupants, John Sumner rides again! Watch as John single handedly knuckles the craniums of Troopers and Enforcers while dancing the Fandango around them. This is John. See John swim through lava. Swim John swim! This is a Vid film (32K)of the Plutonic Relationships level of D-Day where a normal player would start with a butt load of weapons and ammo and a 3X power up. John does it with with one pistol, 3 mags and lots of style.

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