I have been suspicious of this for quite some time. What is with all the gay BOBs in Marathon anyway? I hired a private eye to investigate this odd phenomena. What he turned up was shocking. The photo above is that of Alexander Seropian from Bungie at his favorite Saturday night haunt, "The Happy Buns" transvestite club. Although I do admit to being slightly turned on and copping a wee bit of wood, I think this is completely shameful and totally disgusting for what we consider the father of Marathon.

I mean, just look at him. He should have his hair in a fall with a flip, not a beehive. Black is not his color, I would suggest a lavender or a puce. It is true that flabby armpits are all the rage this year but one with taste would tease the beholder with a bit of frothy lace

gently hiding those two perky fur bearing nether regions. Crinoline flatters him but he does come off a little bit trashy by wearing his underwear on the outside. I realize this must be a sure fire way to pick up drunks in a bar, but if he wants me he will cover it with a tasteful skirt and a smart blouse, something I can slowly unbutton down the front while he gasps in pleasure with his eyes rolled up into the back of his brain pan. And finally, while it is the popular fashion to wear your feather boa panties down around your knees I would not suggest this during an air raid, race riot, volcano eruption, prison break or nuclear core melt down.

So anyway, there you have it - someone call the fashion police. I'm outta here!