Lh'owon Lukefisk

Down Home Lh'owon Lutefisk

This bit of gold is from alt.games.marathon back in the heyday of Marathon. During this time we were whacking each other with the proverbial trout. Christopher Lund introduced us to Swedish lutefisk and we started whacking each other with that. Lutefisk is much harder and denser than a trout which makes it perfect for putting a dent in your friend's brainless head. Below I'm replying to Daniel Cormier who has suggested making Lukefisk out of a F'lickta which resembles a canal carp which resembles the cod used to make Swedish lutefisk. Someone had to do it, so I wrote down the recipe.

INGREDIENTS:

1 teats up sewage F'lickta (if you prefer it spicy, use a Lava F'licta)
1 Wonderbra teats up minor Hunter
10lb. plumbers lye
Tub to fit F'lickta
Water to fill tub
Rigger's Tool™
Spare S'pht card (You can find one in Marathon Infinities "Where Some Rarely Go", slog your way through all the freshly dead you've created until you find it)

DIRECTIONS:

Take one dew kissed F'lickta, lightly kill, then soak it in farm fresh plumbers lye until it has doubled in size and may easily be pierced with a S'pht card. While it is soaking, find a Hunter (the MOAH is quite unsuitable for Lh'owon lutefisk) and gently render him a soft death, you don't want to bruise the armor. You will have to remove the Hunter's armor, it has an attachment just below the shoulder blades. An experienced Marathoner can reach around behind and unfasten a Hunter's armor with one hand, you newbies out there will find your selves fumbling with the little hook and will have to use two hands and maybe break the damn thing. Discard the contents. Remove the shoulder mounted cannon using Rigger's Tool™ (Beemer Dan has a backup in case you drop it down the muzzle). Also remove the armor's bat ears, arm shields and cod piece. Cram the dead swollen F'lickta into the armor and place the F'lickta in a dusty, windy location to dry completely in the Lh'owon sun. When fully cured, a finger will break rather than bend, store in a cool dry location.