MarineBOB Spacepants

The Marathon 1 Movie:
MarineBOB Spacepants

This bit of nonsense came about in a Fileball.net forum thread about "Marathon: The Movie" written and directed by so and so and how it should go. You know, stuff us dweebish nerds without lives discuss when we should be out on the town rummaging through the clothes of our dates. I thought Marathon should be written by Steven Hillenburg, the guy who does the Spongebob Squarepants cartoon. Watch with me the opening scenes of the proposed Marathon 1 movie and see if you don't agree this is a good match of director to movie.

"MARATHON: THE MOVIE"...written by Steven Hillenburg

CREDITS ROLL TO OPENING SONG WITH A BACKDROP OF TAU CETI FROM LOW ORBIT:

"Ohhhhhhh... Who lives in a space ship with thousands of BOBS?
MarineBOB Spacepants!
Who's green and helmeted with grenades that he lobs?
MarineBOB Spacepants!
If astronautical nonsense be something you please...
MarineBOB Spacepants!
Then unzip your pants and feel the cold breeze!
MarineBOB Spacepants, MarineBOB Spacepants,
MarineBOB Spacepants, MarineBOOOOOOOOB Spaaaacepannnnnnnnnnts!
arrr harrr harrr arrr arrr arrr harrrrrrr!

PAN TO A SMALL SPACE CRAFT APPROACHING THE UESC MARATHON
FADE IN TO COMM TERM OF SHUTTLE CRAFT MIRATA

::boo beep::
MR. DURANCRABS: Arrrrr... So ye be wantin' to board me ship eh MarineBOB? I think you're just after me first dollar! Let me just drain the air from yer shuttle, won't be but a second. ARRRH HAR ARR ARR ARRRRR!
::boo beep::

MARINEBOB: Oh no! Mr. Durancrabs has gone rampants! Time try out my new Emergency Procedure!

(MarineBOB slams his fist down on The Big Red Button: the hatch blows and MarineBOB is blown through vacuum into the docking bay, rolls across the flight deck, up the boarding ladder, through the entry hatch and splats into a second comm term aboard the Marathon)

MARINEBOB: Hey! That wasn't the sock puller-upper button!

THE COMM TERM COMES TO LIFE

::boo beep::
LEETRICK: Duuuuuhhhhh... Hey MarineBOB, you wanna go Pfhor Pfhishing?
::boo beep::

MARINEBOB: Sure Leetrick, but were can we find any Pfhor?

A TERRIFIED CREWMAN RUNS BY

::rapid fire suction sounds::
BLUE SQUIDBOB: Oh doesn't this just take the cake, that leaves _me_ to be a stupid BOB, I hate this crummy movie... "They're..." ummmmmm... ohhhh, I can't do this MarineBOB... (MarineBOB raises his .44 magnum) Oh barnacles, why me! OK OK OK, (in a quiet, muffled voice) "they'reeverywhere"... there, now leave me alone!

PAN TO THE EMPTY MOVIE THEATER AND FADE TO BLACK