Related Marathon Humor

Recipe for a Good Pfhor

The origins of this gag (literal gag) is from the newsgroup alt.games.marathon. The question came up in a Forge/Anvil conversation, "How do you make a good Pfhor?" meaning of course, how do you set the physics of the game so that the Pfhor is fighting on your side rather than against you. I answered in the only way I know how, with exceeding, irrelevant, stupidity.

Take 120 lbs. of game cattle entrails and gently pour them into a large mixing bowl. Slowly stir in the complete skeletons of a goat and a full grown two-headed anaconda, as well as the exoskeletons of two dozen 10-inch Madagascar cockroaches. Add six shovel fulls of jello-like turkey droppings, blend with a baker's dozen of fresh, steaming cow pies, and a liberal portion of aged premium dog poop (season this to taste, remembering that "crust" adds character). If you have any saved dental work from relatives your family has cremated, add these now. Toss in a

dash of vomit, a pinch of pus and a crushed Fighter staff. Blend gently, trying not to "bruise" the mixture. Pour this onto the deck trying to pile it as high as you can. Sprinkle a liberal portion of ants, flies, dung beetles, and maggots over this. Place a sprig of parsley on the side. Step back, kissing the tips of your fingers like a French chef, then spread your arms as wide as you can while backing off and bowing. Best discovered the next day after chilling overnight in howling winds. Serves eight net players.